Saturday 20 August 2016

Definition of love by me

When I love, I love harder than anyone else.
When I love, I locked my heart for anyone else except for him.

But then, I always fall for wrong person.

First time in love or more suitable to call as a crush, I can't forget him for 6 years. I can't accept anyone at that time. I only look up him then feeling so stupid after realising the difference between us like "langit and bumi".

Second time in love, I just feel connected with him although I barely know him. But, he got busted as a liar.

Now, it's so hard to love again. To believe again. To put hope and trust again.

Truth to be told, I'm afraid to love.
But I also afraid that I will be forever alone.

There are always someone coming into my life but still, I can't forced to open my heart for them.
Afraid if I give them some hope, then my heart would changed.

I'm sorry for those whom think I just play with their emotions. It's not my intention but I can't help with that.

Glad that some of them has move on and found someone else, while I'm still lost in my own feelings.

Hope that someday there would be someone who can accept me for what I am.

Friday 6 May 2016

Future ツ

Lately, I have always been thinking about my future after a break up. Hahaha, actually it's not really a break up since thanks God it was not in a serious stage relationship yet until I found out he already has a girlfriend. Cheers to stupid me believing what he said and what he did.

     I barely know him and yet I put my little trust at him. But what made me trust him was because he went to my house and met my parents. I thought what a gentleman he was and he was seriously asking me to meet his mother. Never I knew that was just a game. Sekarang, a guy boleh permainkan perasaan both parents, aite? It's look easy to him to use his mother's name telling that his mother didn't like his ex girlfriend which is his official girlfriend. I don't know how many girls that he has but telling lies like that only wanted to be caught red handed later on. I began to doubt him when he told me he actually baru je break up with his girlfriend and yet he started to try me in a short time. Takkan lah tak sayang langsung girlfriend dia he can forget about his girl and move on with me? I wanted explanation yet he tried hard to spin the story until I found out he was still in contact with that girl. Nasib baik aku ada kawan yang boleh tanya pasal attitude dia and I found out he is a playboy. Cheers.🎉🎋

     Today, I might considering to marry my bestfriend after all this heartache but still, I'm so afraid of losing what I already had with that person. In case of break up, everything left is only hatred and we might lost the friendship. Then what should I do if I lost my bestfriend forever?

Ottoke?

     There was a friend said this to me years ago when I told him I'm not ready to be in any special relationship, "If Allah open your heart one day, may I be the person who have your heart,".
   
     Still valid lagi tak your statement?👻 Haha